AN APOLOGY

“I’m sorry for who I am.”

The words fumble out of me

Like a confession tape

Stuck in a loop of rewind and replay

As though doubling, tripling-

Endless repetitions & iterations of these words

Make them more effective.

You were lying next to me in a stupid, crowded twin bed.

I can’t forget that pain… Nothing hurt more than

The comprehension that I felt my identity

Required a preemptive apology

Because yet, all the while I knew,

Someday I’ll break your heart, somehow.

“It’s okay.”

Did you know too?

You inched closer,

Eyes closed for you were half asleep

“I think there’s something

tragically beautiful

about creating something so strong

with full knowledge

that one day

it’ll break.”

- M.